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Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Colloquialisms | Expressions | Sayings | Aphorisms

Some of my favorite Southern expressions/sayings:

*Stomp a mudhole in your ass and walk it dry: "If that heifer says another word to me I'm gonna stomp a mudhole in her ass and walk it dry!"

*Forty back and plum: "Mercy, that ol' boy lives forty back and plum** (out in the country, forty miles back and plum back in the woods)."

*Rode hard and put up wet: "Look over yonder, Bubba's woman looks like she's been rode hard and put up wet."

*Let your aligator mouth overload your hummingbird ass: "Yessir, that ol' gal done let her alligator mouth overload her hummingbird ass."

*Wouldn't spit down your throat if your guts were on fire: "And I wouldn't spit down her throat if her guts were on fire either!"

*If brains were leather, he wouldn’t have enough to saddle a junebug: "That ol' boy ain't too bright, bless his heart. If brains were leather, he wouldn’t have enough to saddle a junebug."

*It’s so dry the trees are bribing the dogs: "Durn, I hope it rains soon! It’s so dry the trees are bribing the dogs."

*If you put his brain in a nat's ass, it would fly backwards: "Merciful Gawd, that's one goofy son of dog. If you put his brain in a nat's ass, it would fly backwards."

*I'm gonna jerk a knot in your tail: "If you don't behave, I'm gonna jerk a knot in your tail (and I'll slap you like a red-headed step child, and if that don't work I'll slap your head off and tell God you died)."

*I can't dance and it's too wet to plow: "Well, I reckon I'll go with you. I can't dance and it's too wet to plow."

*Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra: "Lord have mercy! It's colder than a witch's tit in brass bra out there, today."

** As used here, plum may need to be defined also. plum: (slang) completely; used as intensifiers, e.g., "clean forgot the appointment"; "I'm plum (or plumb) tuckered out"



re: photos/images | Honestly, it's not that most Southerners are any less intelligent, on average, than individuals from other regions of the U.S., it's just as Jeff Foxworthy once said, "We just can't seem to keep the most ignorant among us off of the television." (Damn, did I just quote Jeff Foxworthy? /grin/) YouTube, Blogs, Flickr, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, MySpace, LiveJournal, Google Images, etc. [Internet] would have to be added to that as well, today. /LL

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